Internet Whore.

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Strange Attraction.

Yesterday I went to the California Science Museum which was nice because I haven't been there in ages plus I enjoyed being near the coliseum because it reminded me of all the good memories EDC brought. Anyway once my friends and I made our way inside I headed to the bathroom and noticed this older guy with his daughter. We made eye contact right away and I didn't think anything of it until after I left the bathroom and made intense eye contact with him again. He was real handsome, Latino or Arab, couldn't really tell, probably in his mid to late 30's and his daughter must have been three or four. I don't know what it is but I just have a huge attraction to older guys, probably because of what happened to me as a kid. Anyway my friends and I went to the Creativity Exhibit which was completely outdated, made our way to the Life exhibit which was outdated as well. The newest exhibit was the Ecosystem exhibit which I totally dig so we went there after blowing through the other two exhibits. Right as I made my way inside this dark room with video of the worlds ecosystems being projected on the huge walls of the entrance that dad turned towards me and we practically stopped and looked at each other. During the five minute ecosystem montage we kept checking each other out. My friends and I made our way to all the individual ecosystem exhibits I happened to bump into him again at this interactive island exhibit and was right next to him and his daughter. We kept making more eye contact through the glass between us and I happened to notice that he wasn't wearing a wedding ring. I soon left that exhibit and never saw him again. I keep thinking about him and wondering why the fuck I didn't say anything? My biggest mistake was when we were next to each other at the interactive exhibit, his daughter dropped her toy and I neglected to pick it up. What I should have done was pick it up for her which would have given me an excuse to say something to him. But of course I'm to much of a fucking coward to put myself out there. I need to wrap this up because my frustration in myself is making me tired. I really need to stop being such an introvert and put myself out there even if I have to take baby steps.

Sick.

I don't necessarily mind being sick only because it gives one the excuse of staying home in bed and drinking hot drinks. Hot chocolate, tea, coffee, etc. I love just curling up in bed with my cat and watching hours and hours of tv and movies while gulping down cup after cup of tea. I generally like doing that but being sick gives it more justification I guess one could say. Oh my tea is done steeping, I'm gonna watch The Breakfast Club then probably Party Monster or Donnie Darko, gotta love the classics.

Single and Ready to Mingle?

Last tuesday I went to Tigerheat for the first time. For those of you who don't know what Tigerheat is, it's a gay club and Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday nights they have 18+ events. Anyways I went for the first time with 8 of my other friends and on a whole we had a great time. I just wish that I wasn't so shy and scarred to put myself out on the market. I'm not seeing any one and haven't for about a year I'm completely single but am I ready to mingle? With in ten minutes of being at the club an older gentlemen lit my cigarette for me which is a nice gesture, I just smiled and then ignored him. Through out the night I could pick up on guys checking me out but I never did anything about it. I'm not used to all this kind of attention I guess. All of my friends kept telling me to talk to guys and find a "daddy" so we could get some drinks but I wasn't ready for all that. A part of me feels guilty because I feel like I dragged them out to west Hollywood  to a gay club only to go home alone. Can't I just get a feel of the place and take things slow? Anyways I'm rambling basically next week we're going again but this time we are drinking and that way I can have some liquid bravery in my system, is that cowardly? I really don't care I need something to help me along the way. Oh my youtube videos are done uploading I guess this is it.

Fresh Start?

Let's see, let's see, where to start? Well I guess I'm 18 turning 19 in march and I have 3 tumblrs, a youtube, facebook, twitter, social life, job, and I start school in like 2 weeks. I figured I would make a blog so I can post my more "personal" post in one area, I guess. I don't know, who the fuck even cares. I'm just typing this cause its almost 3 in the morning on a thursday and I can't sleep, but then again what kids my age can now a days. Its all fucked if you ask me. Oh I have a mouse named Francis and a cat named Zoe. I had another cat named Jade but she died last week and then I lost my job, at Urban Outfitters but I still work at a gym yeah a gym Spectrum Athletic Clubs. Yeah I can't complain the eye candy is A+, oh yeah I'm also gay. Went to my first gay club on tuesday, Tigerheat, but I guess I'll discuss that later. I need to get back to my netflix cause I can't sleep. WHAT ELSE IS NEW?